


Gone

by WithTheMoonOnHerWings (orphan_account)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Childhood Friends, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-13
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-05-24 03:43:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6140489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/WithTheMoonOnHerWings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Akaashi was like any typical young boy when he was six; he was mischievous and daring, and bravely held out his hand to the shy and soft-spoken girl that hid behind her mother's skirt. Yet things took a turn for the worst when you had to leave your only childhood friend behind in hopes to live a better life. </p><p>Now at the age of sixteen, you are back. Life certainly did not change for the better, but at least Akaashi was still there. He changed as well, now more reserved and reticent, as people changed when time passed after all. But is the friendship still intact, even after all those years apart? Or had it disappeared the moment you left him?</p><p>A story featuring Akaashi Keiji, and started off when you stepped into his classroom as the new student of Fukurodani Academy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Where Memories Linger

**Author's Note:**

> My second story with Akaashi, and even at this point I have no idea where the story would go. This could span out into eight or nine parts, but it really depends.
> 
> This story was heavily inspired by Jin's song, Gone (listen to it while reading: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJXmOugipmg). 
> 
> I have only posted the work here, so if you see it somewhere else (which I doubt), please contact me!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT 13/04- changed it from four statements to three. changed one about prone to injuries to scared of the thunderstorm, as that would be crucial in upcoming chapters.

If anyone had asked you whether Akaashi was just as modest and polite as he is now when he was at the vulnerable age of six, you would have had to turn the other way, hand muffling the laughter that threatened to escape from your mouth. Thinking back, you were probably the only one who had known the Akaashi who was mischievous and daring; not afraid to run around in the summer heat with a water gun to spray strangers, or throw snowballs at unexpected passersby. And the same could be said about you. You were incredibly shy and soft-spoken: always hiding behind your mother’s skirt when she brought you to the park to play. She often worried about your ability to play with the other children in the neighbourhood, but that had changed when the black-haired boy came up to you, beckoning you to lean closer to peek at the butterfly he had caught between his hands.  
  
Your parents had never anticipated for the two of you to be friends, but the world was full of surprises. And anyways, befriending a playful boy was the least of their worries. They instead worried about whether they had enough money to support the child they were expecting, still in your mother’s womb. Your father worked day and night just to make ends meet, but there were rumours floating around his workplace that a majority of workers might get sacked due to the lack of profit the business was getting. Your mother had often volunteered to pick up a part-time job to ease the burden, but she was heavily pregnant, and your father did not want the possible job-related stress to cause her to have her third miscarriage since your birth.  
  
So they had decided unanimously to move out of the quaint apartment complex and stay with your grandmother. You didn’t even get to say goodbye to the boy: the last you had seen Akaashi was when he gave you a bag of cookies his mother had baked for you.

      _“Tell me how they taste tomorrow, (f/n)-chan!”_ His voice was high-pitched and full of life. His voice made you anticipate the adventures that the next day could bring, and erased all the problems that you had encountered. His mother stood behind him, a sad smile on her face as she gently coaxed her son away. As you closed the door, she turned back to face you. Her words confused you at first, but now you understood that she cared about you and hoped your departure would not affect Akaashi too much.

      _“Take care, (L/n)-chan. Hope to see you soon.”_

* * *

Looking back at the fuzzy memories, you strongly believed the move was the catalyst that caused your family to fall apart. Your mother had fallen down the stairs the week following, and had lost the baby she had carried for 28 weeks. Your father couldn’t find a new job, and he grew more and more depressed each passing day. He later tethered off the edge, leaving you and your mother behind in the harsh world that was reality. Even ten years later, he was still the fragile shell; one you were too scared to touch in case you had shattered him for good. Your mother departed overseas not long after to provide for the family, and at the tender age of fourteen, she left for good to chase after the love of her dreams; one she knew would let her live comfortably for the rest of her life. And just like that, as quick as a candle flickering out on a windy winter’s day, you were left in your grandmother’s care.  
  
Everyone who had met your grandmother would comment that she was a very wise woman. She believed that the reason your family was suffering so much, especially her son, was because you didn’t make full use of the opportunities that flew by. So she hired many tutors to hone in your academic abilities. She locked you in the music room hidden in the back corner of the house until you had mastered each instrument she presented you. On weekends, she took you to neighbourhood stores to gain work experience, before dragging you to different dance studios until you could dance perfectly in any footwear, be it pointe shoes or high heels. Despite the gruelling childhood you had endured away from any parental support, you can confidently say that those experiences had made you stronger. You no longer cowered behind people, instead, you stood proudly, unafraid of what could be thrown your way.  
  
Sometimes you wondered how the boy was doing. Whether he missed your presence in his life, like you had. Even the most trivial things reminded you of him: a butterfly fluttering above a blossom cast your memory back to your first encounter. The scent of freshly baked cookies whisked you back to his house, glasses of milk on the table as his mother carefully transferred them from the baking tray to the plate held eagerly in chubby hands. The smell of tea reminded you unconsciously of him, and you would always have a small smile on your face when your grandmother handed you a hot cup of the beverage.  
  
But when you turned sixteen, your grandmother’s health worsened, and she was confined to her bed. She was prescribed numerous medications by each doctor she visited, and the costs started to take its toll. You picked up part-time jobs and tutored children to pay the bills. The idea of dropping out of school and succumbing to the real world where more money could be earned passed your mind frequently, but your grandmother’s insistent pleas convinced you to stay at school.

      _“Please, (f/n). Concentrate on your studies. Don’t do something that you’ll regret in the future.”_

 _“I won’t regret taking care of you. Just let me help you.”_ You tried your hardest to earn a scholarship, and Fate must have watched over you, because soon after you received a letter of acceptance to an academy in Tokyo that was willing to support you fully for the last two years of your schooling. With the last of your funds that you had saved for university, you purchased a second-hand uniform and textbooks. You wiped the dust off your bicycle, the only mode of transport you would be using to and from school.  
  
You had to miss your first day of school to help the medics transfer your grandmother to the hospital. The doctor ordered her to stay in her bed until her health improved, but they told you later in the waiting room that the chances of her recovering were very low. Despite the nurse telling you that they would take good care of her, you didn’t leave her side until a fortnight later. All the students were bound to have met their classmates and teachers, but you were in no rush to go back to introduce yourself to them. You were only attending school to complete your high school education, and that would be enough for employers to consider you as a possible candidate in the future. The homeroom teacher greeted you in the staff room before leading you to your classroom.

     “Did you know that our boy’s volleyball team is one of the best in Tokyo?” You told them you didn’t. “Really? I thought you would’ve known when you applied for the scholarship here, but I guess not everyone’s interested in volleyball.” You nodded silently and glanced around the corridors. The morning bell had rung a moment ago, and you could see students in various classrooms greeting their homeroom teacher before the lessons begun. It seemed like an eternity when you arrived outside classroom 2-6, and they glanced back at you. “I’ll settle the class down first before I introduce you. Just stand by the door before I call you in.”

     “Yes, teacher.” You waited obediently, positioning yourself so that you would not meet the curious glances of your classmates. It didn’t take too long for the teacher to get their attention, and amongst the whispers of your peers, they gestured for you to come in. Straightening your back, you opened the door and kept your gaze on the teacher as you walked in.

     “Class, this is the new student. Please introduce yourself to the class, (l/n)-san.” You turned to face them, a bright smile lighting up your face.

     “Hello! I’m (l/n)…” You froze, unable to tear your eyes off a boy with black hair and green eyes. “Keiji-kun?” You uttered his name under your breath, unbelieving the sight in front of you. He seemed to recognise you as well, eyes widened in shock. Although life was full of surprises, you did not expect to see Akaashi Keiji; the only childhood friend you had unwillingly abandoned in your family’s hopes to live an easier life.

* * *

**~ In that space where memories linger, still as warm on my fingertips ~**

* * *

On that day when he handed you the cookies, he never thought that he would never see you again. It was strange when his mother asked if he wanted to help her bake, as she had often kept him out of the kitchen to prevent chaos.  
  
A week after your disappearance, he couldn’t hold back his question. He ran towards his mother, who was in the kitchen preparing their dinner, and tugged insistently at her skirt.

    _“Mama! Where’s (F/n)-chan? I want to play with her!”_

    _“Keiji-kun,”_ At this stage, she had abandoned what she was doing and knelt down to look at him in the eye. _“(F/n)-san has left. I’m not sure if she will come back.”_

      _“Left? Did she go to the park or something?”_ He waited for an answer as his mother wrung her hands, carefully constructing a response that he would be able to understand.

      _“No, Keiji-kun. Her family moved away and she doesn’t live here anymore.”_ A tear rolled down his cheek as the information sunk in. His green eyes filled with tears and he couldn’t hold back his wails of despair.

      _“Does she… not like me… anymore? Is that… why she left?”_ Sobs wracked his body, and she gathered the little boy into her arms.

      _“She still likes you, and I’m sure she would come back.”_

      _“What… can I do to make her… come back? I… want her back.”_

      _“Nothing, Keiji-kun. It’s her decision as to whether she wants to come back.”_ She stood back up and patted his head gently. _“Now be a good boy and read a book.”_ He made his way back slowly to his bedroom and stayed sitting on his bed until it was dinnertime. He was unusually quiet (his father questioned what was wrong) and his mother knew that your departure had affected Akaashi greatly.  
  
But time continued to tick past and the mischievous boy that often giggled as he ran towards the ice-cream store changed. He became more withdrawn, more reserved, more reticent. Instead of trying to convince his mother to take him to the park to play, he stayed home to read or practice the violin. He no longer ran in front of his parents when they went out, he held his father’s hand gently and kept his eyes forward. How should he have continued living freely when the companion he spent nearly every day with for two years vanished from his life without saying goodbye? His parents began to worry about his reluctance to interact with anyone. They desperately signed him up to play sports, arranged playdates with other children in the neighbourhood, even taking him out every weekend in hopes to bump into another child that he could spend his time with.  
  
He gave up waiting for you when he turned ten. He interacted more with the neighbourhood kids, though not as lively as before. He willingly attended the sports sessions, and it was there that he had met Bokuto. He was playing soccer with his teammates when a strange boy with white hair ran to the middle of the field, holding a volleyball in the air and shouting at the kids to play with him.  
  
Yet here you were now, standing at the front of his classroom. Your hair was no longer in the two pigtails that your mother carefully did, instead it was tied back into a sleek ponytail. Earring studs glimmered from your ears and a bracelet hung beside a delicate watch on your wrist. The smile, although frozen onto your face, was still as genuine as ten years ago; even three desks back and two desks to the right, he could feel the warmth emitted from the simple lift of your lips.

* * *

**~ You are here, here . Your scent, your face ~**

* * *

     “Are you alright?” The teacher placed their hand on your shoulder, shaking gently. Your eyes darted away from Akaashi. You didn’t expect him to be attending this school, as it wasn’t close to where he lived when he was six years old. But he could’ve moved, just like you did.

     “Yes, I’m sorry. I’m (L/n) (F/n) and I am here on a scholarship, so please take care of me!”

     “Is there anything else you would like your classmates to know, like interests, hobbies?”

     “Um… I enjoy playing this game called Two Truths and A Lie, which I’ve played often when I was young.” It was a game Akaashi played with you, and you bent your head down to avoid his gaze. “I’ll play the game with you all to break the ice. I’ll give you three statements, and you’ll find out which ones are true, and which one is the lie.” You held your hand out to number the facts. “I live with my grandmother, I've never liked thunderstorms and…” Your eyes flickered towards Akaashi, who held your gaze intently. ”And I’ll be here at Fukurōdani for two years.”


	2. Please Look At Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akaashi approaches you and rekindles the friendship. Your grandmother's situation fluctuates yet again and you visit Akaashi's mother for the first time in ten years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this chapter took such a long time to write and post! But here it is now, just over 3000 words long (so hopefully that would make up for my lateness)! I hope you enjoy the chapter :) 
> 
> Any feedback is appreciated, and feel free to leave a comment below on your thoughts of this chapter.
> 
> This story was heavily inspired by Jin's song, Gone (listen to it while reading: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJXmOugipmg).
> 
> I have only posted the work here, so if you see it somewhere else (which I doubt), please contact me!

Finished with your introduction, you quickly made your way to the empty seat, which so happened to be behind Akaashi’s.

     “Okay, class. That’s all I have to say right now make sure to pay attention to your next teacher!” They straightened their books and tucked them under their arm. “I’ll see you all again during homeroom.”

     “Thank you, sensei!” You all stood up and bowed to the teacher. Akaashi has definitely grown since the last you had seen him; the boy that used to be only a few centimetres taller than you was now at around 180cm. The blazer fitted well on his frame and you could see that he had polished his shoes recently. He was still as neat and presentable, and that sent a pang to your heart.

     "(L/n)-san!” A feminine voice called out from behind you. “I’m the class representative of 2-6, so if you have any trouble don’t hesitate to ask me!”

     “Ah, thank you.” You gave her a friendly smile before sitting back down on the chair.

     “Oh! The lesson plan is on the left side of the blackboard, and we have Japanese now. The teacher just transferred but he’s really good.” She leaned over her desk and propped her arm on your shoulder to point at the list. “Then it’s Maths, English and Biology before we have lunch. Feel free to sit with my friends and me!”

     “Thank you so much…” She told you her name and you thanked her again just as the Japanese teacher walked into the classroom.

     “Good morning, class.”

     “Good morning, sensei!” You all stood up again to bow and you recognised the teacher.

     “Ah, Sensei! Long time no see!” He glanced over at you and he smiled in recognition.

     “(L/n)-san! I didn’t know that you transferred here!” Everyone else had sat down and pulled out their books while you remained standing in front of your desk. “How is your grandmother?”

     “She’s good, but she had to move to the hospital so her health can be monitored by the doctors.”

     “Well, send her my regards.” He cleared his throat before grabbing for a piece of chalk. “Okay, class! Turn to page 24…”

* * *

When it was time for lunch, you couldn’t wait to escape the confines of the classroom and take a breath of fresh air. Although the classes didn’t involve you having to interact with the other students, each teacher seemed to take a deep fascination with your intelligence and knowledge.

     “(L/n)-san! I’m just going to buy a juice box from the vending machines and then we can head off for lunch!”

    “Sure.” She ran off with coins jingling in her pocket, and you were left in a silent classroom. Most of your classmates had gone outside to make good use of the weather and only a handful of them were finishing the last of their notes. And amongst them was Akaashi. You couldn’t bring it in yourself to face him, not just yet. After all, what were you meant to say to the childhood friend you abandoned for ten years and did not keep in contact with? He was busily scribbling the notes from his textbook to his notebook, and you thought this would be a good opportunity to slip away silently. You carefully stood up, grimacing when the chair screeched behind you. Cursing under your breath, you had only made two steps from your spot before a hand quickly grasped your wrist.

     “Give me a moment. It’ll be quick.” He closed his books and stood up abruptly. With a few gentle tugs, he led you out of the classroom and weaved his way past the students lingering in the corridor.

     “Keiji-kun?” You couldn’t help the name that slipped far too easily from your lips. His grip on your wrist was light, but you didn’t want to shake it off. He didn’t answer you and continued his way until he stopped by the empty stairwell.

     “It’s been a while, (F/n)-chan.” His green eyes met yours. “How have you been?” How could he act as though you hadn't left him behind with no explanation? How could he talk to you as though you had still kept in contact? But deep within you, you didn't feel anger but regret for how you had treated Akaashi. You knew it wasn't your fault, but if only you picked up the phone and dialed his number, it only you composed the email and actually pressed send, then you wouldn't be feeling such emotions right now.

     “I’ve… I’ve…” Your mind suddenly went blank, and you couldn’t think of anything to say. He continued to look down at you with his gentle gaze, and for some ridiculous reason, you eyes started to tear up. You attempted to cover your face before he could see the tears but Akaashi noticed and gathered you in his arms, muffling the sobs that wracked your chest painfully. Each tortured gasp that left your mouth felt like a stab in the heart for the boy. It wasn't your fault. It wasn't your fault. It wasn't your fault.

     “I missed you so much, did you know that?” He still smelt the same but his scent was now mixed harmoniously with hints of cologne and the crisp spring air.

     “I-I’m so sorry, Keiji-kun! I really didn’t want to leave you!” You balled up his blazer in your hands and he gently rubbed your back in comforting circles.

     “I know. It's not your fault. I’m so sorry about your grandmother.” Your sobs gradually stopped but he continued to hold you in his arms. A long while had passed and Akaashi relished the feeling of his childhood friend in his arms once again. How often he had dreamt of this moment, but he never thought that he would see you here, in the same class, sitting right behind him.

     “Our family fell into debt. That’s why we had to leave.” His hands froze and you cleared your throat.

     “(F/n)-chan…”

     “But it didn’t help. Not at all. We moved to live a better life, but we’re even worse off now. I don’t know what to do anymore…” His hand moved from your back to stroke carefully at your hair. He gently pushed you away from the tender embrace and held you at arm’s width.

     “(F/n).” You didn’t dare look at him in the eyes again lest you burst into tears. “Look at me.” He tilted your head by your chin and gave the smallest of smiles when your red-rimmed eyes met his. “No matter what happens, I won’t leave you. Okay? I won’t leave you.”

     “Keiji-kun…”

     “I promise.”

* * *

 ~ Please, look at me, look at me, look at me. I can feel you, like this, feel you, feel you ~

* * *

     “Hey, Konoha! Have you seen Akaashi anywhere?” Bokuto bounded next to Konoha and slung an arm around his shoulders.

     "Nope. Are you sure he isn't talking to the club advisor about the window you shattered the other day?" The white-haired boy's eyes widened comically and shook his head in surprise.

     "Excuse you! And that wasn't my fault!" Bokuto flailed his arms wildly and the boy dodged the swings.

     "Then it's the spider on the potted plant you were admiring." He rolled his eyes as the volleyball captain dramatically clutched at his chest.

     "It freaked me out, okay!? You'd do the same if a spider suddenly dangled from the flower you had sniffed!"

     "Is that Akaashi over there?" The blond-haired boy pointed at the stairwell, and Bokuto could make out Akaashi's figure next to a girl that didn't look as familiar. She seemed like one of those girls who flocked to the vice-captain's side to confess their love, but he had never seen Akaashi accept their feelings, let alone touch them!

     "Yo, Akaashi!" His shout startled the two of you and you quickly pulled yourself from the embrace. Konoha slapped his hand on his face as Bokuto remained oblivious to the situation and continued to run towards the two sitting on the steps.

     "Dude! She could've been confessing and you just ruined the moment!" But his thoughts were futile and he groaned at how aware the ace was in situations like this.

     "Is everything alright, Bokuto-san?" You wanted to be the confident you built yourself to be all those years away from home, just like the younger Akaashi. But the instant your moment with the boy was interrupted, you reverted back to that shy girl ten years ago.

     "I'm sorry, Keiji-kun." You hastily stood up and shrunk away from the hand he held out to stop you from running away. "They must be waiting for me so I'd better get going."

     "(F/n)-chan..." But you fled from his sight, avoiding his eyes telling you to stay, and he roughly tugged his fingers through his hair. Bokuto blinked owlishly at his side, and Konoha wanted to kick some sense into the white-haired boy. "What's the matter, Bokuto-san?"

     "She's the childhood friend, right? The one who left without a word?" Akaashi nodded and let out a deep breath.

     "She came back as the student who won the scholarship, and she's completely changed from the girl I knew as my childhood friend. Sure, she seems more confident, but she's become more... withdrawn." He wrung his fingers and glanced up to meet yellow eyes. "I know that she is hiding something from me to stop me from worrying, but I'm not sure what it is." Bokuto placed his hand on the second-year's back and a sob wracked out from his body.

     "Don't worry, Akaashi. You'll know what to do."

     "But I don't know how to help her, Bokuto-san." He held his arm in front of his eyes to stop the tears from flowing. "It's not her fault and I want her to know that, but I don't know what to do!" His cry, silent and light, conveyed all the sadness and burdens he had held inside. 

Akaashi didn't notice you hiding behind the corner, listening to every word of the conversation. Your hands were muffling your face to not let loose the sobs, and you ran back to the classroom. Only Bokuto, the one oblivious to the secret moment you shared with the black-haired boy, caught your movements down the corridor and back to the classroom of 2-6. Your hands, still shaking from the emotion you were trying to keep bottled up inside you, nearly dropped the phone you fished from the bag. 

Your hands, still shaking from the emotion you were trying to keep bottled up inside you, nearly dropped the phone you fished from the bag. Your grandmother was in a critical condition, and if you didn't hurry you would probably never have another chance to say goodbye. So you quickly shoved your books in your bag and ran out of the classroom. You didn't have time to leave a note for the teacher or Akaashi explaining your sudden absence, but it couldn't be helped. There were more pressing matters to attend since it wasn't right to let your grandmother slip away from the world without a family member by her side.

When Akaashi returned to the classroom, he found your desk empty as though you were never there.

* * *

 You didn't attend school the next day, or the day after that. Although the doctor said that the incident was a false alarm, you weren't willing to leave your grandmother's side until you definitely knew that she was okay.

As each day passed, Akaashi could only glance at the empty desk behind him with worry. The class representative also wondered where you were, but not with the same degree of urgency and panic as the boy. She didn't really mind, after all, since you were just the new girl she'd never met until a few days ago. He knew you since you were six years old, and for most of his childhood he spent thinking about where you were, how you were, if you were doing alright, just like he was. But he didn't have to wonder any longer as you rushed into the classroom just after the bell rang.

     "Just in time, (L/n)-san." The maths teacher stood at the front of the classroom, a piece of chalk in their hand. "Since you're standing here, solve this problem on the board." It was a nasty looking equation but your mind was already pulling it apart to quickly form an answer.

     "Yes, Sensei." You took the chalk from their hand and immediately started to jot down the steps leading towards the correct answer. Most of the class sat back in astonishment, as they had only learnt this yesterday, but here you were, answering it as though it was a simple 1 + 1 = 2. You dusted your fingers and gave the chalk back.

     "Correct. Don't be late to class next time unless you want to solve an even more difficult problem." You meekly ducked your head and hurried to your desk. Ignoring the burning gaze of the student in front of you, you quickly opened your maths notebook and textbook, occasionally turning to the girl behind you to copy any notes you have missed in the previous two days.

The lesson seemed to whizz by, and soon the class moved downstairs to the home economics classroom for your class. The teacher sorted the students into groups, and it was just your luck that they placed you in the same group as Akaashi and two other rowdy boys who kept on messing around with the rice paddles.

     "Today, you'll be making an apple pie, that you'll split into quarters after class. The recipes are on the table and I'll be patrolling the room so don't mess around. Yes, I'm talking to you two over there." They clapped their hands and students began to wash the apples. Akaashi washed the knife whilst you rinsed the apples under the tap and shook them dry. You stood by his side and handed him the apples one by one.

     "Is everything okay, (F/n)-chan?" He whispered under his breath and caught the faintest nod of your head. "That's good to hear." Noticing the other two members of your group had disappeared off to somewhere, you quickly stationed yourself opposite Akaashi and started to make the crust for the pastry.

     "It was just a false alarm with my grandmother, but it's all good now." You carefully cracked the eggs into the bowl as he peeled the apple skins off the fruit. "How's your okaa-san? Does she still bake the cookies?" 

     "It's been a while since she baked anything, but I've told her that you came back." He placed the apple slices in a bowl of water to prevent them from oxidising. You rubbed at your nose as you glanced up at him. "If you want, you can visit her today and then she'll probably bake some for you."

     "But don't you have after-school club activities?" You rolled the dough into a large lump and Akaashi noticed the smudge of flour on your nose.

     "It's a break day for us." He reached his arm out and carefully rubbed it off. You froze, eyes locked on his green ones and his motions slowed. The teacher's voice behind you startled you both.

     "Please, no gestures of affection in the classroom, Akaashi-kun. Leave that for after school." Your classmates giggled and you fought the blush that was spreading rapidly on your cheeks. "Since the other two have run off somewhere, you can cut the pie in half instead, or share it." They glanced back at the two of you before leaving the station. 

     "Sorry." You both finished the pie in an awkward silence, not daring to look at each other in the eye until he put the tin in the oven.

     "If you don't mind, I'll accept that offer." He looked down at you in surprise and you twirled your hair idly, a smile playing on your lips.

     "I'm sure she'll be happy to see you again."

* * *

~ Struggling to catch your expressions. Struggling to catch your smiles ~

* * *

 At the end of school, Akaashi wheeled your bike to the train station, and you followed next to him holding the pie safely by your side.

     "Do you still live there?" You asked him after dropping the coins into the ticket dispenser.

     "Yes." He retrieved your ticket and motioned you to follow him. Just then, a group of schoolboys ran past, pushing you towards Akaashi. "Careful!" He gripped you by the waist and your bike clattered to the ground.

     "Thanks." He quickly let go and bent down to pick the bike back up. You double-checked to make sure the pie hadn't shattered from the incident and blew out a sigh of relief. 

     "Don't worry, I don't think okaa-san would mind even if the pie crumbled into a million pieces." Placing his arm at the small of your back, he led you inside the train carriage that would take you to the place where the mother of your childhood friend lived.  

* * *

     "Okaa-san, I'm home!" Footsteps thudded from the level above you, and you fiddled with the cardboard handle of the box.

      "Sorry for the intrusion!"

     "Keiji-kun! Welcome back! Is that a girl I hear? Your girlfriend?" Soon his mother appeared in front of you and couldn't hold back her gasp of surprise. 

      "Hello, Akaashi-san." You held the box to her and she quickly placed it in her son's arms before wrapping her arms around you in a loving hug.

     "(L/n)-chan! It's so nice to have you back here! How have you been?" She looped her arm around yours and led you to the kitchen. "This calls for some chocolate chip cookies to welcome you back home!" Akaashi followed behind and placed the apple pie on the kitchen table carefully.

     "Yes, welcome back home, (F/n)-chan."

 


	3. I Struggled to Understand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You sit with Akaashi and his friends during the break, and it seems as though everything has gotten better. However, your mother unexpectedly comes back from overseas and demands your father to let you leave with her, just when Akaashi is visiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have nothing else to say other than sorry for another late update. As my apology, enjoy a +4500 word chapter. I hope you enjoy the chapter :) 
> 
> Any feedback is appreciated, and feel free to leave a comment below on your thoughts of this chapter.
> 
> This story was heavily inspired by Jin's song, Gone (listen to it while reading: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJXmOugipmg).
> 
> I have only posted the work here, so if you see it somewhere else (which I doubt), please contact me!

 You stayed at the Akaashi household until the sky darkened to a midnight-blue, and you waved goodbye at the couple standing at the door. Akaashi stood next to his parents as you hoisted your bag over your shoulder.

     "It was great to see you again, (L/n)-chan. Please come and visit when you have time." The older man wrapped his arms tighter around his wife's waist and you gave a small smile.

     "I will. Thank you so much for having me, and for the cookies." You gave the plastic bag a little wriggle and Akaashi's mother let out a light laugh.

     "It's been a while since I baked, so thank you for giving me that opportunity." She wiped her hands on the apron still tied around her form and glanced at her son. "Keiji-kun, walk her back home. We can't have her wandering around in the dark at this hour."

     "No, no it's fine..." But Akaashi had already slipped on his school shoes and turned on the flashlight application on his phone.

     "Let's go, (F/n)-chan." He held out his hand out of habit and you took it, not thinking much into the gesture. His mother tried to muffle a squeal and only then did you realise what you had done. Blushing madly, you tried to wriggle your hand free but he seemed to grip it even tighter. "I'll be back soon."

     "Keiji-kun..." He tugged you towards the front door and you gave one last wave before the crisp evening air greeted the two of you. He let go of your hand as the door closed behind him, and strode towards the bike leaning against the wall. You followed in silence as he wheeled it to the sidewalk outside his home.

     "Do you still live there?" He turned back to face you, the bike slowing to a stop next to his side. 

     "Ah, we sold the house and moved to live with my grandmother. I usually ride my bike to school since it is quite a fair distance away." He nodded in understanding and his eyes followed the general direction of your new residence.

     "I see. Would be easier if we rode there then?" He reached for your bag and placed it in the basket. 

     "It would definitely save a lot of time, but... what are you doing?" He swung a long leg over the bike frame and adjusted his position on the seat.

     "I think we can seat two people on it, so let's ride there." You glanced at the metal spot behind him and shook your head. "Come on, hop on the back."

     "I'm not as light as you think, and I don't think you would know how to get there..." He interrupted your reasoning by waving the map illuminated on his phone.

     "And I'm not as weak as you think I am. It'll be fine."

     "But..."

     "Just type in your address and hop on." You opened your mouth to protest but clamped it shut as you noticed his intense stare. Fingers tapping silently on the screen, you handed the device back to him and sat down. Your arms circled his waist lightly and your hands rose from each breath he took. "Hold on tight."

     "Okay." He kicked off and his legs pedalled in a familiar rhythm. The occasional squeaks of the metal structure grated at your eardrums but Akaashi didn't seem to mind the noise.

The ride back home was silent, and as each minute passed you had tightened your grip and rested your head against his back. With your eyes closed, you enjoyed the sensation of the wheels turning underneath you and his muscles tensing every so often as he made a turn. You couldn't help but breathe in that comforting scent of his, almost lulling you back to sleep.

     "(F/n)-chan?" You murmured in response, snuggling even closer to his form. Your fingers ventured from their place to underneath his blazer, stealing his warmth. Unseen, his ears reddened and his heart hammered against his chest. "We're almost there..."

     "Yes." You yawned just as the bike skidded to a stop outside your house. Akaashi took in the barren appearance of the house, so unlike the building you lived in when you were younger. Vegetable plots that he used to roam and steal strawberries from were replaced with a lone sakura tree with a stone bench underneath its branches. The wind chime was missing from its place by the door and a lonely bike rack was propped against the wall. "Thank you so much, Keiji-kun."

     "No worries." He hopped off the bike and held out a hand. You gripped it carefully as your feet landed on the floor. 

     "I hope I wasn't too heavy." You added cheekily and his eyes crinkled in amusement.

     "If you were, I didn't notice." He turned off the flashlight and observed the quiet streets. You followed him, taking in the houses of your neighbours and spotted a stray cat making its way towards you. 

     "Look, there's a cat." You bent down to pick the feline up and patted its fur gently. "You still like cats, right?"

     "Yeah." He made his way closer to you and stroked the animal under its chin. The cat meowed and you couldn't help but meow back.

     "I think it likes you." The cat responded with a purr and Akaashi slowly retracted his arm. He watched you pet its head fondly, reminding him of the young girl he knew who wasn't afraid to approach stray animals and befriend them. In a way, you haven't changed much but he still felt as though he knew nothing about you.

     "I'll see you tomorrow at school." You nodded and placed the cat gently on the ground. It rubbed against his legs almost adoringly before dashing away.

     "Okay." He handed you the handles of the bike and watched you wheel it to the rack. Locking the bike in place, you made your way to the door and extracted the keys from your bag. The metal click echoed in the silent air and you turned back to Akaashi. "Good night, Keiji-kun."

     "Good night."

* * *

The next morning, you woke up earlier than usual with the hopes to bump into Akaashi before classes started. But to your dismay when you arrived in the classroom, his desk was empty and you couldn't find him in the corridors. Looking around the room, you noticed a small clique of girls with extremely short skirts and makeup plastered onto their faces gossiping loudly about a scandalous article in the magazine they were gathered around. Despite your wishes to get to know the class better, you were hesitant to approach them. Backtracking back to your desk, you decided maybe you should maybe read an extra chapter in your textbook just as the class representative arrived.

     "Good morning, everyone!" Murmurs of their greeting filled the room, and she blinked in surprise when she noticed your presence. "Hey, (L/n)-san! Good morning!"

     "Good morning." You couldn't help but tune her out as she scolded the girls on their appearance and state of uniform. 

     "Make sure Sensei doesn't catch you or you'll be stuck in detention!" Placing her bag on the hook beside her desk, she turned to face you. "Hey, (L/n)-san. How about you help me with the morning tasks?"

     "Sure." You accompanied her to the teacher's office to collect the schedule for the day. Bidding the homeroom teacher farewell, the two of you trudged back up the stairs.

     "So, what do you think of school so far?" She nudged you with her elbow.

     "It's nice. Very big, and the teachers are very knowledgeable." That seemed about right, and you nodded at the thought. "There are a lot of vending machines that sell my favourite juice box, so I'm quite happy." The girl let out a breathy laugh and turned right at the corner.

     "Have you made many friends yet?"

     "Not much at this stage, but I think a few close friends are better than many friends by name."

     "I agree with you on this point." She waited for you to slide open the door before entering the classroom. "If you ever need a friend to talk to or anything, just remember that I'm always here."

     "Thanks. I really appreciate that." You made your way back to your desk as she picked up a piece of chalk to jot down the agenda. "Um, do you know where Keiji-, I mean Akaashi-kun is? Doesn't he usually arrive at school early?" The squeaking of the chalk on the blackboard stopped as she processed your question.

     "Akaashi-kun... I think he has practice now. Why?" She lifted the chalk back to the board and wrote each character slowly.

     "It's nothing. I was just curious." You started to unpack your bag, thinking the conversation was over.

     "Can I ask you a question, (L/n)-san?" She didn't wait for your response and kept on speaking. "I noticed since your first day of school how you always call him by his first name. Do you both know each other?"

     "Ah... we're just childhood friends. We used to play with each other every day before I moved." You fiddled with the ends of your hair as you cast your thoughts back into the past. "We were very close, but I hadn't kept in contact with him so it was such a surprise when I saw him here."

     "I see." Placing the chalk down, she tapped the dust off her fingers daintily and strode over to your side. "So you're just friends?"

     "Just friends." She nodded in understanding and you turned your attention back to setting your books for class.

     "I see." Murmuring under her breath, she felt her heartbeat slow back to its usual pace. "So there's still a chance for me."

* * *

~ You, who I struggled to understand. In the place where we were together ~

* * *

Akaashi had rushed back from volleyball practice to make it in time for class (thanks to Bokuto-san for deciding it was a smart idea to try spiking the balls at literally every corner of the gym). Panting, he quickly rounded the corner and swung into the classroom. Eyes wide, he scanned the classroom and was delighted in the fact that class hadn't started yet.

     "Just in time, Akaashi!" One of the boys yelled and he blew out a sigh in relief. "Was the captain causing you trouble again?"

     "You could say that." He carefully stepped over the bags still cluttered on the floor and made his way to his desk.

     "Good morning, Akaashi-kun!" The class representative greeted him cheerfully. He lifted one side of his mouth into a small smile in response.

     "Good morning." His eyes flickered over to you, who was still intently jotting notes in your textbook. "Hey, (F/n)-chan."Your head shot up at the sound of your name and you saw Akaashi standing in front of your desk.

     "Morning, Keiji-kun!" You gave a small wave and closed the book. "Thank you for the cookies. I gave some to my grandmother this morning and she enjoyed them a lot."

     "That's good to hear. I'll tell okaa-san to bake more the next time you come over." He quickly unpacked his own bag before sinking down into his chair and turning to face you. "Do you remember the white-haired boy from your first day?"

     "Ah yes." He was the one who had interrupted your conversation with Akaashi, and out of embarrassment, you had run away. Just thinking back to the situation caused you to cringe at your behaviour.

     "I've told him about my childhood and our friendship a long time ago, probably during the training camp, and he wants you to join us for lunch today." His hand ruffled through his hair and he gave a sheepish smile. "He wanted to apologise for his behaviour, and... I wanted to spend more time with you."

     "I'd love to."

* * *

Lunchtime seemed to come too soon, and the moment the maths teacher left the room Akaashi had quickly dug through his schoolbag to retrieve his lunch. You followed suit, hand wrapping around the container of onigiris you had made earlier in the morning.

     "You ready?" Students bustled slowly out of the classroom until the room was mostly empty.

     "Yep." Without another thought, he reached out his hand to grip yours lightly, just like when you were younger. You paid him no mind, carefully pushing your chair in before following him out of the classroom. Unbeknownst to you, the girl sitting behind you noticed the gesture and questioned to herself whether you and Akaashi were 'just friends'.

     "So what's his name? The white-haired one?"

     "That's Bokuto-san. He's the captain and ace of the volleyball club, so don't be surprised if he keeps talking about volleyball."

     "I see..."

     "There would also be others there, but I'll introduce you to them once we get there." He led you up the stairs and towards the rooftop. "We don't usually eat here, but the weather seems to be very nice today."

     "It does." The moment he opened the heavy wooden door, you caught the glimpse of the blue sky and fluffy white clouds that floated serenely across the sky. "It's beautiful."

     "Akaashi!" A masculine yell sounded from the side the door was blocking. "You remembered to bring her, right?"

     "Yes, Bokuto-san." He let go of your hand and gestured for you to walk first. "After you, (F/n)-chan."

     "Thank you, Keiji-kun."

     "Is this the almighty childhood friend of Akaashi?" A short brown-haired boy called out, twisting his body to peer at you. "Oh, she's pretty!"

     "This is (L/n) (F/n)," Akaashi introduced you to his friends. "And these are the volleyball members who wanted to eat with you today."  

     "I'm the volleyball captain, Bokuto Kōtarō! Please call me Bokuto-senpai, since none of my underclassmen call me that!"

     "That's because you would overreact each time if they do call you that." A blond boy held out his hand in greeting. "I'm Konoha Akinori, third-year. I saw you last time, but nice to meet you."

     "Washio Tatsuki. Third-year." He had a stern expression on his face was broken by an awkward smile. 

     "Sarukui Yamato. Class 2 Year 3."

     "And I'm Komi Haruki, and surprise I'm a third-year. Onaga has some tasks to tend to so he isn't here right now." His grin reminded you of a cat, namely the stray you had patted last night.

     "Sit here, (L/n)-chan! I promise I won't bite!" You carefully made your way to Bokuto's side and sat down gingerly. Akaashi sat down next to you and opened his lunchbox before he noticed the lack of food in front of Bokuto.

     "Where's your lunch, Bokuto-san?"

     "I forgot to bring money to buy some food, and I didn't want to ask her again since I still haven't paid her back..."

     "If you don't mind, you can have one of my onigiri." You held out your lunchbox, to their surprise. "I made extra today since I wanted to finish up the rice, so it'd be great if you could help me out."

     "Ah, thanks! I prefer bread, but beggars can't be choosers!" He leant forward to reach for one, but Akaashi quickly shoved his bread in his hand. The third-year's mouth dropped open, as did yours.

     "Have this then, Bokuto-san. I'll share with (F/n)-chan." No words came out of your mouth as your childhood friend helped himself to one. "Thank you for the meal."

     "The onigiri glutton makes his appearance again!" Komi laughed, falling back to slap Akaashi on the back. 

     "It tastes amazing." He made a quick work gobbling up the rice ball he held in his hand carefully and licked his lips after the last bite. "Can I have another one?"

     "If you like them so much, Keiji-kun, I can make some for you too." Even Washio couldn't hold back his snort of amusement at your words, and Sarukui nearly choked on his juice box.

     "Looks like Akaashi's got himself a girlfriend!" Bokuto hooted, and soon the boys were giving wolf whistles. Akaashi paid them no mind but you couldn't help but bring your hands to cover your face.

     "No, they look more like a married couple!" By this point, your hands were probably stuck permanently to your burning hot cheeks, and you ducked your head from their field of vision. "Look how embarrassed (L/n)-chan is!"

     "Is that... rain?" Amidst the laughter, the black-haired boy held out his hand to the sky and felt droplets of rain land on his palm. It was indeed, and just as suddenly the rain fell in a harsh downpour, instantly drenching your school uniform.

     "Quick, let's go undercover!" The whole group hurried to pick up their lunch containers and dashed towards the stairwell. Other students were standing by the railings, laughing at each other's appearance.

     "Come on, Keiji-kun!" You gripped his arm and dashed towards the other students, laughing out loud in the process. He couldn't help but laugh as well, a wide smile on his face as he ran after you, blinded by the rain.

Amongst the crowd, Bokuto noticed your interaction with the vice-captain. You were completely different from his first impression of you: carefree and happy, and it could be because of the childhood friend you had reunited with after all those years. The boy who cried at your sudden departure. The boy who withdrew from his usual activities, instead favouring the silence of his empty bedroom. The boy who finally began to smile once he was by his best friend's side again.

     "I'm glad (L/n)-chan's back."

* * *

~ In the moment where I resembled you. When it felt too good being soaked in the rain ~

* * *

You returned to class drenched, but you weren't the only one. With every step he took, Akaashi left a wet trail and droplets dripped slowly from his hair. Other classmates also ran back to the classroom to get their spare change of clothes and their towels. Some of the boys were shaking their hair like wet dogs, causing the girls to squeal and shy away from the aftermath.

     "You're all wet! I'll quickly turn on the heater so that no one will catch a cold." The class representative rose from her seat with her friends, quickly making her way to the heater at the back of the room. "Go and change into some dry clothes, and I'll tell the teacher why you are late."

     "Thanks!"

     "We owe you one!"

     "Mmm..." Akaashi stood with his bag opened in front of him, scrutinising its contents.

     "Is something the matter, Keiji-kun?" With a slightly damp towel in your hands, you stopped drying your hair to face him. You had dried yourself as best as you could but the boy was still standing there soaked.

     "It seems like I left the towel in the gym..." Without a second thought, you threw him your towel.

     "I think I've got a spare towel in my bag..." The girl behind you reached towards her bag but it didn't seem as though you or Akaashi had heard her. Without a second thought, you threw him your towel.

     "You can use this one. I'm done with it anyways." You didn't catch the glance from the class representative as you searched through your bag for your dry sports uniform. "Is that okay?"

     "Yeah, thanks." He rubbed quickly at his hair and handed the towel back to you. "Well, I'm off to change."

      "Okay." He rushed out of the classroom with his sports uniform in hand whilst you folded the towel back into your bag. Piling the clothes into your hands, you turned back to give the girl a light smile. "Thank you so much."

     "No worries, that's what friends are for." As you quickly jogged out of the classroom, her hand fisted around the dry towel in her bag.

* * *

Classes proceeded without any other interruptions, although the teachers found it strange to see half their class dressed in their sports uniform. What was earlier a sea of white shirts and grey blazers, there were some black t-shirts and white jackets mingled between the other students. When homeroom was over, everyone rushed to pack their bags and head back home, with most after-school club activities cancelled due to the sudden change in weather. Students milled around the shoe lockers, chattering and yelling out goodbyes to their classmates. 

     "Ah, the rain hasn't stopped..." The rain fell relentlessly, not willing to spare anyone, especially not to a schoolgirl who had forgotten her umbrella. You cursed under your breath, thinking about the long bike ride back home when Akaashi stood next to you, umbrella opened and positioned over the two of you.

     "Forgot your umbrella?"

     "..." You stood silently next your bike, and he nudged you gently with his elbow. 

     "Let's share then. This can be my thank you for the towel." Umbrellas of different colours added colour to the cloudy grey skies, and soon Akaashi's navy umbrella would join the crowd.

     "Okay." And with that, the both of you walked back to your house.

* * *

~You are gone, gone~

* * *

     "Sorry for the intrusion." Akaashi stepped inside your house, looking around at the photographs hanging in the hallway. The walk back home took longer than the trip yesterday, but at least with the umbrella, you had arrived back dry.

     "I think otou-san should still be in his room. You can greet him if you want, but usually he doesn't like to be disturbed." You took off your shoes and slipped your feet into a pair of slippers. "I'll get you a cup of hot tea?"

     "That'll be nice." He followed you into the kitchen and sat down, bringing out his phone to text his mother where he was. With your back turned to the entrance of the kitchen, you didn't notice the arrival of your father.

     "(F/n), who's this boy?" Surprised, you quickly turned around and accidentally knocked a teacup over in the process.

     "Otou-san!" Akaashi quickly stood up to introduce himself.

     "Ah, so it's Keiji-kun. Nice to see you again." The older man patted his back a bit too roughly before turning back towards the hallway. "I'll be in my room. Call me when dinner is ready."

     "Yes." You gently placed the cups on the table when your father left. Glancing at the boy, you held your hand out.

      "I can quickly throw your wet clothes in the dryer, if you want." Nodding, your friend retrieved his uniform and handed it to you.

     "Thanks." When you left, he looked around the large empty house. If he was correct, you were now the sole caretaker of the house since your grandmother was in the hospital and your parents didn't help you out. He heard your footsteps echoing and quickly stood up. "I'll help you out with dinner, (F/n)-chan."

     "You don't have to, Keiji-kun. We have a lot of homework and I don't want to stop you from doing that."

     "It's fine. Two people are better than one." You shrugged in response and handed him an apron. 

     "Well, you've got a point. Let's get going."

* * *

You heard the door unlock and glanced back at Akaashi. He was stirring the contents in the pot slowly, and you untied the apron. It couldn't be your grandmother, she was still in the hospital and your father was still sitting in his room. Could it be your grandmother's friend or someone close to her whom she can trust with the keys to the house?

     "Hello?" You called out into the hallway when the lights turned on to signal their arrival into the house. "Who's there?"

     "(F/n)!" It was your mother. The woman who fled overseas with a new man, who abandoned you in the most critical time. But you banished such thoughts as you jogged to greet her.

     "Okaa-san! You're back!" You flung your arms around her and she returned the gesture. "Are you here for good?" Some part inside of you hoped that she would stay here, but you knew it wouldn't be, not with her smiling so happily with no worries.

     "I just need to run some errands and then I'll go back." She patted your back before leaning back. "How is she, your grandmother? Is she cooking dinner right now?"

     "She's in the hospital, but the doctor said that there is a possibility that she can come back home." You heard footsteps resonating from the hallway and turned to face that direction. "It's Keiji-kun. He's the one who's cooking."

     "(F/n)-chan? Is everything okay?" He finally made his way through the hallway and stopped at the sight of your mother. 

     "This young man is Keiji-kun? My, you've grown so much!" She moved forward and looked up at the boy. "(F/n), stand next to him. I want to see how tall he is." You shuffled over to Akaashi's side and straightened your back.

     "Sorry about her, she's still as crazy as ten years ago." You whispered quietly to your friend, making sure your mother couldn't hear you. He tugged at his shirt absentmindedly and gave you a small smile. Your mother didn't seem to catch what you were saying, only bringing out her phone to quickly snap a picture.

     "Wow! Just look at what time can do to a healthy young boy!" The both of your smiled into the lens as she captured more photos, gushing about how she would send them to your relatives. "You both are absolutely gorgeous, almost like a couple!" Akaashi chuckled as your face started to redden. 

     "Okaa-san!" You hissed quietly at your mother and she only waved it off.

     "It's true, such a beautiful young lady as yourself deserves a dashing man by your side!" You blushed even more and Akaashi awkwardly coughed to the side. "When are you going to ask her out? Or are you dating? Oh, I have shown you the baby photos before but I can always show them to you again! There is one I particularly like..."

     "Okaa-san!"

     "We're just friends for now," Akaashi added, but that didn't stop your mother from her chatter.

     "Did I hear you say for now? It means you are planning to? Oh, you're both growing up too fast!

     "Tsuma?" Your father emerged from his bedroom, and your mother immediately shuts up. You could see your mother's face instantly darkening, knuckles whitening as her hands curled into fists. "Are you home?"

Ever since the move, your father hadn't made much progress in finding a job so your mother was suddenly thrust into the role of being the provider as well as the caretaker of a young child. You remember she was always stressed and with each passing day she spent less and less time with the family, instead choosing to work longer hours in the office.

     "I have something I want to discuss with you." The older woman didn't even bother to greet him and strode towards the kitchen. You hurried after your mother, your father mere steps behind you. At the kitchen table, she suddenly turned to face the man. "I want (F/n) to come with me when I leave."

     "Eh? What are you talking about?" 

     "I want her to leave this place permanently, and come back with me to live a better life." She glared at the man. "I'm guessing you have been leaving her all by herself to take care of the house, and I don't want her to become like me. She doesn't deserve it."

     "Tsuma..."

     "Okaa-san, but I've already got a life here with Keiji-kun and..."

     "I know I may sound very demanding right now, but it's for your own good. You'll make friends and this time, you can keep in contact with Keiji-kun." She clasped your hands in your own and looked at you with pleading eyes. "(F/n), you won't be alone and I will continue to support you." 

     "But..."

     "Please. Come back with me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tsuma: wife in Japanese


	4. In Those Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He discovers the nature of one of your statements: scared of thunderstorms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the late update; I've got quite a bit on my plate these days (including exams and the pile-up of homework) but I've finally found a bit of time to continue with the story :)
> 
> Any feedback is appreciated, and feel free to leave a comment below on your thoughts of this chapter.
> 
> I have only posted the work here, so if you see it somewhere else (which I doubt), please contact me!

     "You want me to leave?" Voice wavering of barely suppressed anger, your breath shuddered as you continued in a hushed voice. "You want a daughter who has been abandoned by her mother for two years, left her alone with a frail grandmother and sorry excuse of a father, to willingly follow that woman, after all she has gone through alone?"

     "(F/n), I know it's been difficult for you but I suffered as much as you did..." You saw her hand in your peripheral vision, and you bluntly avoided her touch. Akaashi knew he shouldn't be watching such a private interaction, but he couldn't take his eyes away. He wanted to understand what you have gone through, the rough times you had to endure alone, the pain of feeling like the only person in the lonely, cruel world.

     "No! You left with the man of your dreams to live a happier life. You won't understand!" Tears were flowing down your cheeks and you turned your head away from her in shame. "Did you know how scary it was when I first found Grandmother collapsed on the kitchen floor? Did you know how frustrating it is to do the bills for the first time, with no help whatsoever from your own father? It felt as though the entire weight of the world was sitting on my shoulders, and only now I am finally feeling lighter. Only now I can breathe and enjoy the last of my youth."

     "That's why I'm trying to make things right again. Just give me a second chance." Lightning flashed from the windows before the thunder sounded from above. The rain pounded even harder on the roof, enveloping the house in a flurry of noise.

     "I don't think you deserve it, after what you've done to me." Your whole body was trembling and you had to grasp the back of the wooden chair to keep yourself upright. "Not after what you've unknowingly snatched away from me. My friends, my opportunities, my freedom... not once but twice."

     "It's not my fault that I wanted to run away from the hardships! Anyone would do that if they could, even you!" 

     "I won't! I'm not that weak!" You slammed your hand on the table, startling your father. The half-filled teacup tethered over the edge of the table before shattering into a million pieces onto the ground. The noise of the porcelain fragments smashing onto the floor was a welcome interruption of the tense conversation, and the atmosphere seemed to crack alongside it.

     "(F/n), Tsuma, calm down..." Your father stepped forward but both you and your mother stepped back in response. Akaashi knelt on the floor and delicately picked the pieces of the ground. A shard managed to slice his skin, but he didn't cry out in pain, only staying silent and disposing of them in the trash can. Now was not the time to disrupt the conversation, since he was the outsider.

     "Stay out of this."

     "I'm not going to run away. You can't make me." You snatched a jacket hanging from the back of another chair, not checking to see if it was your's, or Akaashi's, or your parent's. "I'm going out for some fresh air. Don't come after me." Sprinting down the hallway, you didn't even bother to put on any shoes as you ran out into the rain.

     "(F/n)!" Thunder sounded yet again and Akaashi quickly wrapped his hand around the handle of his umbrella. "Keiji-kun!"

     "I'm going after her." Before they could utter another word, the boy raced after you.

* * *

Only when you had run past the park a few streets away did you finally register the thunderstorm brewing above you. Despite being in the open, it felt as though invisible walls were coming in from all directions to corner you, stealing the air from your lungs and forcing your exhales to linger around you for far too long to be considered comfortable. The thunder clapped above you and a shriek escaped you in response.

     "No!" You fell to the ground in a wet heap, bringing your arms around yourself to curl into a small ball. Eyes squeezed shut, you rocked back and forth slightly, chanting in your head that you were alright. Rain you could handle, but once the skies rumbled and flashed, you were terrified. "It's okay (F/n), it's just a storm, it will end..." Your hands patted your pockets for your mobile but came back empty-handed. "I need to get back..." 

You shakily stood up and desperately looked around your surroundings. But you didn't recognise anything. Not the empty roads in front of you, or the trees scattered around the place.Your fear was clouding your vision, just like the darkened clouds blocking the view of the moon. "Take a deep breath. In. Out."

But your heart rate didn't slow alongside your breaths and your tears mingled with the raindrops sliding down your face. Everything was blurry, and you didn't know if it was from the salty liquid or the slightly sweet drops falling from the sky. How ironic it was that such a horrifying part of nature could bring about goodness. Thunderstorms that could cause havoc but also sustain life. That could let things live, but also let things die. The skies brightened instantly, such an intense white glow, as startling as hallucinations.

     "Find some shelter, (F/n)." You used that opportunity, despite shaking viciously, to look around your surroundings. You spotted an isolated playground to your right, amongst the dense greenery of trees and bushes. It was better than being out here in the open, so you quickly sprinted towards the curve of the slide, not caring when your shoes stepped on puddles of water, drenching your socks and freezing your feet in the process. "Good job, (F/n). Just stay here until the storm ends."

This playground looked immensely familiar to the one you had played at frequently with Akaashi when you were young. You tucked yourself even tighter into the crook of the plastic, curling into a ball and hiding your face in the cocoon your arms made. Eyes squeezed shut yet again, you dug crescents into the palm of your hands, using the pain it brought to distract you from the storm.

     "You're safe." You muttered under your breath, trying your best to believe the meaningless words that feel from between your lips. "You're safe. I promise."

* * *

You've always loved the rain. The way it slowly made its way down on the glass panes on your window, sometimes racing the other raindrops to see which one would reach the bottom first. How it clung to the smooth surface off leaves and flower petals, creating transparent orbs distorting its reflection. How it looked like it was snowing, but without the harsh cold that came with it and the snow which your parents would have to shovel aside.

It was probably when your mother was more immersed with the baby in her stomach was it when you had changed your mind. She was the one who had taken you outside when the sky wept, jumping in the puddles on the floor after you. She always wore her red rain boots when she played with you, and yours had changed each time you grew out of your old pair. 

The most memorable moment you could remember was probably when you had the forest green rain boots, contrasting against her's in harmony. She wasn't pregnant yet, so all her attention was on you.

      _"We're like strawberries."_ She had said, twirling the handle of the umbrella in her hand as she watched you put on the raincoat. _"Or watermelon."_

      _"Those are summer fruits, okaa-_ san _. It's winter."_ You had retorted, rubbing your fist against your nose which was running. You were getting sick, but your mother had managed to convince your father some time outside would be good for you. He called over his shoulder for the both of you to dress warmly, not lifting his gaze from the newspaper on his lap.

      _"Then what will you say we are like?"_ You tilted your head in thought. What were the rain boots like?

 _"...Chilli."_ Your mother laughed airily at your words, bending down to ruffle your hair before using a tissue to wipe your nose.  Her movements were gentle, delicate as to not rub too harshly on the soft skin by your nose.

      _"But you don't like chilli. They're too spicy for your delicate tongue!"_ You stuck out your tongue and she tickled your sides in response. You squealed happily and she couldn't help but smile at the sight. _"How about apples? They're winter fruit."_

 _"Yeah! I like apples too!"_ She stood back up, holding your hand gently as she unlocked the door. 

      _"Let's play in the rain then, (F/n). In our apple rain boots."_ And the two of you proceeded to have a great time. Splashing in puddles, tilting your heads skyward to taste the sweet rain that fell. But soon the sky darkened to a terrifying degree, and she quickly brought you back home in time.  lightning struck

The rain fell even harder, pounding on the roof and interrupting the comfortable silence of the house. Lightning struck a fair distance away, and you rushed to the window to watch the light.

      _"Okaa-_ san _! Look! It's lightning!"_

      _"Be careful of lightning. You can get electric shocks."_ Your father warned from his spot on the couch, still flicking through the newspaper on his lap. _"Many people die from getting too close to lightning."_

      _"They... die?"_ Your eyes widened in horror.

      _"Don't say such things in front of (F/n). She's still young and you'll scare her."_ Your mother emerged from the kitchen, wiping her hands on a towel. There was a slight frown on her face, from listening to her husband, and she knelt down in front of you. _"Lightning is a friend of the rain. They won't hurt those who play in the rain since they are friends with the rain's friends too."_

_"Yeah? Is that why we play in the rain? So the lightning won't hurt us?"_

_"Don't fill her head with lies, Tsuma."_ She quickly shushed her husband, nodding at your words.

_"Yes. That's why there isn't a need to be afraid. Since we're friends with the rain, so we are the lightning's friend too."_

But once she was pregnant, she wasn't able to play with you as much as she had before. The baby was mischievous, like Akaashi, always kicking at her stomach and wriggling about. You were at first interested, hands on her skin to feel each movement of your sibling. When the rain fell again, you tried your best to tug your mother outside.

      _"Come on. Let's play with our friend!"_ You were in your rain boots already, this time, a bright yellow shade. _"Okaa-san!"_

 _"Okaa-san is going to stay inside. We don't want her to get sick, do we (F/n)?"_ Your father stopped you, a heavy hand on your shoulder. "We should let them rest. How about you read quietly in your room?"

      _"But..."_ Your mother was the only one who would play with you. Akaashi wasn't allowed outside when it rained, so you couldn't ask him, and your other friends didn't live close enough.

      _"Otou-san's right. We should stay inside."_ She rubbed her belly fondly before leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead.  _"Okaa-san wants to rest."_

 _"Don't you have a new book in your bedroom? Be a good girl and stay inside."_ You hung your head sadly.

     " _Okay."_ Obediently, you had taken off your rain boots and made your way to your bedroom, picking the book off your desk ad carrying it to your bed. The raindrops racing down the glass wasn't enough to bring your spirits back up, nor were the persistent drops that clung to the tree leaves outside your window.

And that was the day lightning struck and killed a man. Not in your neighbourhood, but you knew it was because he wasn't friends with the rain. That's what your mother said, and she was always right.

But no matter your pleas, from that day on you were not allowed outside at all when it rained. And it was that day you started to fear the thunderstorm.   

* * *

~ How am I supposed to erase you alone and live. In those moments where we once walked together ~

* * *

 Akaashi remembered the first time he discovered your fear of thunderstorms. It was during a sunny day when the weather forecast didn't predict a storm to occur so when it did, many children fled the playgrounds towards shelter. He was waiting at the bottom of the slide, you about to slide down and race him, when lightning flashed impossibly close to the playground equipment, at a tree not too far from you. Screams rang through the air and you couldn't help but join them, clinging onto the plastic underneath you, unwilling to slide down lest it hit you. You saw a dead bird, its feathers singed off and smoke trailing from its body, fall from the tall branches and the panicked chirps of the baby birds that followed.

This was the first time you watched something die in front of you, and it terrified you. How quickly one's life could end, as suddenly as a flash of lightning. 

At that moment, you believed that if the lightning struck again, you would be the one dead. That every moment you had experienced would be gone in a flash.

      _"(F/n)-chan! Come on!"_  He held his arm above him, trying to shield the raindrops pounding down onto the earth.  _"We need to go undercover!"_

      _"No! I don't want to!"_  You shook your head hysterically, so fast that your vision became blurry when you did stop to look at the boy in the eye.  _"I don't want to die!"_

      _"You won't! I'll protect you!"_  Thunder rumbled in response, and you screamed again, piercing his eardrums with the high pitch and volume.  _"(F/n)-chan!"_

    _"No!"_   You burst into tears. The boy knew that he had to act fast, as the clouds rolled even closer to them. Sprinting to the metal ladder at the side of the play equipment, he nimbly climbed up and slid himself behind you on the slide. He repositioned your hands so that you were gripping his legs instead, he pushed the two of you down before picking you up by the arms and running towards shelter. Your eyes were closed the entire time, squeezed shut and hand held onto his painfully.

      _"(F/n)-chan..."_  He wriggled his hand out of your grip and wrapped his arms around your shaking form. And soon enough, lightning struck the playground equipment you had vacated earlier. Mothers gasped as they saw sparks fly from the metal bars, and some of the children watched in fascination. The display was like the fireworks in a way. "You're safe. You don't need to panic."

      _"Thank you, Keiji-kun."_  Your parents weren't there at the scene to supervise you, neither were his, so Akaashi was the only one who had comforted you. Once the storm had ended, he walked you back home slowly, pausing the journey at regular intervals to make sure you were okay. 

      _"Don't worry about it. I'll always be here to protect you."_  He held his pinky out to you and smiled when you linked yours with his. _"I promise."_

* * *

 Akaashi still couldn't find you even after searching every street for twenty minutes. The rain hadn't eased up at all and he thought back to how you were scared of the storms when you were younger. He remembered how he had to cover your ears when the thunder sounded across the sky and pressed your face into his shoulder when the lightning flashed across the dark skies swarmed with heavy clouds. Your cries for forgiveness to the skies for not being their friend echoed in his head, but he was sure that despite being old enough to understand the stories your mother wove to entertain you were false, some habits never died.

     "(F/n)-chan!" Only the wind answered him and he squinted to try to see better. "(F/n)-chan!"

He didn't know his way around the neighbourhood, as this was his second time here. He wasn't sure where you could be. For all he knew, you could be making your way back home now unfazed about the thunderstorm. His fingers curling around his phone in his pocket, he was glad he had decided to buy a waterproof case for the device. But his fingers froze just above the screen, the phone application open.

He didn't know your phone number. 

Mentally whacking himself on the head, he quickly swiped past his contacts, trying to see which of the people in his list would know where you were. Kenma, Tsukishima, Bokuto-san... Bokuto-san. Despite his personality, the volleyball captain was never to be underestimated. Even Konoha had whispered in his ear that if you had looked at his stupidity from a slightly different angle, it was actually genius-like. So he didn't hesitate, pressing the button.

     "Hey, hey, hey! Akaashi!" As usual, the white-haired boy had answered as loudly as if the caller was on the other side of the gym. But this wasn't the time to think of such useless things like the inappropriate volume Bokuto was at on the phone.

     "Bokuto-san. I need your help."

     "Help? What do you need?" There was chatter in the background, and Akaashi wouldn't be surprised if Bokuto was out with his volleyball friends despite it being a school night. "Wait a moment, Kuroo's doing this awesome trick."

     "It's kind of urgent..." But he was cut off as he heard Kenma's voice on the line.

     "Akaashi-san. Hello. The two idiots are trying to see who has the best biceps so I'm here. What's the matter?"

     "Ah, I was just trying to find a friend out in the storm, and I thought I could perhaps figure out where she could be with Bokuto-san's help."

     "It is raining quite heavily... have you tried the streets near their house?"

     "Yeah, but she wasn't there."

     "Your house?"

     "...My house isn't that close to her's."

     "What about a park or something? Somewhere with shelter?"

     "Kenma, say the convenience store." He could hear Kuroo call out. "That's where you usually are when I have to fetch you."

     "I might try that out..."

     "Akaashi, try the playground or something. There's a lot of playgrounds in the neighbourhood, and the slides make a good spot to hide from the rain."

     "You're so smart, Bokuto! My smart friend!" Rustling soon followed Bokuto's advice, and Akaashi interpreted that as Kuroo lunging towards his friend for a big hug. "Why aren't you in a college prep class then?" Akaashi thought of replying with Bokuto's recent results in Maths, but that would not be the right way to thank his friend. So he decided to keep that information quiet for now and use it when the time came.

     "Okay, thanks, Bokuto-san. Bye." Quickly hanging up, he tried to recall if he had walked or rode past any playgrounds in your neighbourhood. 

Yes. He had. There was one exactly five streets away from your house. He wasn't that far from the playground now, to be honest. Pocketing his phone, he sprinted down the road, calling your name out in the process.

     "(F/n)! (F/n)!" He stopped at the fringes of the playground and saw a figure beneath the slide. "(F/n)!" Rushing down, he knelt on the wet ground, uncaring of the water that seeped through the material of his pants.

He found you. Exhausted and face flushed a bright red. You were silent, eyes opened wearily as you took in the blurry sight of your friend.

     "Keiji-kun...?" Pressing a hand to your forehead, he felt the heat warm the cold skin. But it was too hot. Like you were having a fever. "Why are you here?"

     "We need to get you back home." Shrugging you away from the slide, he slipped his arms under your legs and back, lifting you up swiftly. Your arms looped around his neck with little effort, and you instantly buried your head in the crook of his arm, with a strength that surprised him considering your feverish state.

     "The thunder... the lightning..." As if replying to your drowsy words, the thunder rolled across the sky and you tightened your arms even more around the boy. "Keiji-kun..."

     "I'll protect you." He repeated the exact words he had said to you, on that fateful day when you were both young and naive. "I promise."

     "Thank you..." You felt yourself becoming distant from reality, losing your grip on Akaashi and consciousness. You could feel yourself struggling to stay awake, but you lost the battle instantly, the last sight you could see was the lightning flashing behind him.

Akaashi quickened his pace, carrying his unconscious and feverish friend back home to where it was safe from your fears.

* * *

 ~ Like that, the things we made beside each other. Even the memories, even those regrets ~

* * *

He arrived back at your house in no time, struggling to press the doorbell whilst keeping a firm grip on you. 

     "Akaashi-kun!" Your mother was still in the house, and he could see that her hair was much messier than before, due to her having run her fingers through it multiple times as each call she made to your phone remained unanswered. "(F/n)!"

     "I found her in the playground, and she was feverish by the time I got to her." Your eyes were still closed, limbs hanging limply on his shoulders and face buried further down his chest. Your breaths, despite being quite shallow, were synchronised with the falling and rising of his chest.

     "Bring her up into the bathroom, then we'll fix you up with a nice, hot drink." Your mother's eyes ran over his soaked form before rushing towards your bedroom to retrieve a dry pair of clothing.

     "Keiji-kun..." You were still delirious, but the movements you made could contradict with your state. Your hands gripped at the material of his shirt even tighter, and he could swear on the fact that you were trying to bring his face down to whisper into his ear.

     "Come on, I'll bring you upstairs." Your father remained in his bedroom, having retreated there when he knew that he could do nothing to settle your mother down or find you. He only peeked out the moment Akaashi was halfway up the stairs before closing the door yet again. 

* * *

Your vision was hazy. You couldn't remember what had happened, except that you were now in your bedroom, dry and warm, with a pounding headache. You groaned, pulling the blanket back before noticing Akaashi sleeping beside you, resting his head on the bed.

     "Keiji-kun?" Your hoarse voice was quiet, unbelieving at the sight in front of you. He looked a lot like the six-year-old boy from your memory; a small smile on his face and hair sticking in all directions. "It must be a dream."

Very slowly, you reached out to thread your fingers through his hair, trying to neaten it back to its usual look. 

     "You know, Keiji-kun, I'm really sorry for putting you through all of this." The clock beside you showed that it was in the early hours of the morning, the neon numbering bright against the darkness of your room. 

     "...I like you."A moan from the back of his throat momentarily stopped your motion, but when you knew he was still asleep, you continued to brush it back lightly.  "I always have, since the moment you held my hand."

     "But I know you don't feel the same way." A tear fell from the corner of your eye, and you took a shuddering breath. "I know the way the class representative looks at you, as well as all the other girls in the school. I'll never stand a chance."

Akaashi seemed to stir and you quickly withdrew your hand, closing your eyes and trying to slow your breath. The boy yawned and you could feel his weight lift off the bed.

     "(F/n)-chan?" His voice was huskier than usual and you didn't dare move. What if he had heard what you had said? Noticing the state of the blanket, he carefully pulled it back up to cover your shoulders. His hands lingered before cautiously pressing your forehead. "Still have a fever."

The clock continued to tick as Akaashi stood up, retrieving the towel from the bathroom table to drape over your forehead. He stayed in that room for a while, checking his phone for any messages before exiting. His footsteps were familiar, as were the way he placed the towel gently over the heated skin. He was about to sink back into the chair next to your bed before he stopped, eyes on you. Even in the dark, he spotted the tear marks on your face.

     "It's okay. You're safe with me." With his thumb, he very carefully wiped it dry. You could feel a lump forming in your throat from his gentle actions, but you didn't dare swallow it down lest it alerted him. "I'll always be here."

And just like you had stroked his hair, he began to stroke yours, playing with the ends when his fingers travelled down from the roots. His breath was deep, and you unconsciously mimicked the rate and depth of it.

     "It must've been hard, with your family slowly falling apart. You must've grown up too fast, as well." He heaved a sigh, and you could feel the weight lift off your shoulders alongside his breath. "You did a good job."

     "No matter what you choose, I'll be right next to you."

When he finally closed his eyes, you finally let yourself sleep as well, his words resonating in your mind in a comforting loop.

_You're safe with me. I'll always be here. I'll be right next to you._


End file.
